Happy Birthday, Famous Person

How dull and monotonous would our pathetic little lives be if we didn't have famous people to chivvy us along? I don't know about you, but I always seem to have room in my existence for a glossy mag about surgically altered partygoers who own white leather sofas and are followed by an entourage who include a full time mineral water holder and a ghost writer.

So today I'd just like to say Happy Birthday to a hero of mine. His cheeky smile has made my rotten old flabby-arsed life easier to bear.

Kieran Culkin, many happy returns. You were quite good in Father Of The Bride.

On a less acidic note, I just had a venison burger for the first time and it really was smashing, if a trifle undercooked. Watch this space for possible pukage.